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[unlivinglegend]

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[leggierissimo]

[He would indeed. If Neku needs an out, even just temporarily, he wouldn't argue it. He's more than aware that this isn't something easy to talk about.]

In a place where time doesn't seem to pass, it's easy to lose track of it.

[Ask him how he knows.]

I'm... glad that you grew at all, frankly, considering you were dead. It makes me wonder if a part of you was unconsciously tweaking your own frequency, somehow.

[unlivinglegend]

[He doesn't need to ask, he can guess. And he looks at Josh rather softly, bumping shoulders with him.]

Maybe. I've never seen Reapers look any older so... You did but I know that was intentional.

[leggierissimo]

When your real body is made of energy, you can pretty much look however you'd like.

[He nudges Neku's shoulder in return, then leans his head over to rest on it.]

In this place, it's a lot harder for me to see what effects staying in a dead district for so long had on you. But, just with what I'd observed back at home, you've come leaps and bounds from the last time I saw you. Your extended time in the Game had affected your Imagination back then, too, of course, but not near the level I recall seeing before we all found ourselves here. It's quite possible that my guess is correct.

[And the implications of that... Well, he always knew Neku had the potential to be a Composer. He wouldn't have given Neku a gun if he didn't.]

[unlivinglegend]

[And he in turns rests his head against Josh's as he talk]

I... I wanted so much to go back to the RG. To try and be normal. But coming here... that's not going to happen. It probably wasn't even... even after Rindo's Game.

Hell... I don't... I don't know what normal is. I don't think I ever did.

[he was always outside. Even before he lost someone. Always aching for connections he could never fully form. His voice cracks as he talks, and Josh can likely feel steaming tears hitting his fur]

[leggierissimo]

[It isn't just the tears, but the choked tone to Neku's voice that makes Josh go still, the breath that he doesn't even need anymore catching in his throat. There's a feeling blossoming in his chest, not at all unlike the sensation he remembers from back in April, when Javert had forced the pain of a bullet wound on him. His chest feels tight, painful, and his throat abruptly feels as though all the muscles in it have tensed.

He knows what it feels like, to feel like such an outsider. He knows the feeling of never quite being "normal". Before he died, that was just... how his life was.

It's easy for him to move, being so much smaller than Neku now. He shifts from his sitting position and slides into Neku's lap, leaning in with soft, squeaking noises in his throat to nuzzle his cheek, even though the tears are hot against his nose.]

[unlivinglegend]

[And Neku doesn't hesitate to cling, pressing Joshua to his chest like an oversized stuffed animal]

I just... I keep thinking about all the shadows in Shinjuku. Hearing them. No way to get away from them. I keep thinking "Am I making more every time I feed?". I've killed people. Almost twenty. I enjoyed most of them! And I know, I know we don't have a choice but I can't stop thinking about them.

[He's wheezing by now, his throat closing up]

I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm crying...

[leggierissimo]

[If Neku needs to cling, he's certainly not going to complain. Not even if Neku squeezes the breath out of him. It's not like he needs it anyway.]

No, it's... it's what you need. Don't apologize for it.

[He pauses, just for a beat, and lifts his hands to gently stroke Neku's hair as best he can from where he is.]

What she's done to us is unforgivable, but I don't think that killing them has created anything like that. Shinjuku was... a unique situation. The souls there weren't given a chance to evacuate elsewhere, cut off as it became.

[unlivinglegend]

They.... with the Reapers going back there... will they be able to unlock it?

[Please, please]

[leggierissimo]

They will.

[Without hesitation.]

Once they do... I'm not sure what will happen to the souls trapped there, but they won't be in a state of torment. Either the Higher Plane will see fit to return them to their previous state, or they will be reincarnated.

[unlivinglegend]

[And the relief is palpable. His grip loosens and he literally shudders with it.

If it bothered him so much why didn't he ask before now? Because that meant thinking about it. Talking about it Going back to that place even slightly in his mind.]

I... I'm glad.

[leggierissimo]

[As he feels Neku begin to relax, Josh lets out a soft sigh but doesn't give up on his physical attempts at comfort.]

Everything will be alright. Including you. It may not seem like it yet, but you will. And even if you think you're not normal... well, you're hardly alone, hm?

[unlivinglegend]

[He chuckles slightly, but it's ragged sounding, his throat aching]

Yeah. Can't get any weirder than you two.

[leggierissimo]

[There's a soft snort of laughter at that. Before he answers, he shifts to give Neku a gentle kiss on his forehead.]

It's true. Like meets like as much as opposites attract.

[unlivinglegend]

[His furnace rumbles at that]

You're not wrong there.

I... I have some stuff to think about. But I think right now... I need a nap. Stay with me? I don't want to be alone right now.

[leggierissimo]

I wouldn't be surprised if you did. You've been fairly emotionally wrung out.

[Neku gets another kiss, this time on the lips, before Josh shifts into his travel form and climbs up to cling to the front of his fiance's shirt.]

Take as long a nap as you need. I'll be here.

[unlivinglegend]

[He tucks his wings against his chest, containing Josh before flopping backwards onto the bed with a sigh]

....thanks, Josh. I mean it.

[leggierissimo]

[Neku is warm, and being tucked against his chest as he is, it's all too easy to curl up in a little ball and let out a content sigh.]

You don't have to thank me, but I'm glad to do it all the same. Any time.